Energy

June 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm Leave a comment

energy“Energy” is very important to people from the sixties. It is so important that it can be used in place of almost any other word, as it basically means something that a person from the sixties doesn’t understand. As a result, “energy” can mean just about anything. Its very close in usage to “smurf” from the cartoon enjoyed by children in the eighties. The only real difference is that “smurf” is generally used as a verb while “energy” is generally used as a noun.

“Energy” in the context of the sixties deals with feelings, and does not refer in any way to the scientific definition. Instead, it is a subjective description of very vague things. Recently, the sixties interpretation has become pretty much ubiquitous, leading many scientists to admit defeat and recommend adopting a new word in its place. Some have even tried adopting the hippie word “vibes.” So far however, people from the sixties have maintained complete control over both words, dismissing such attempts as “futile”.

Interestingly, people from the sixties have their own words to represent the scientific definition of “energy.” For example, someone from the sixties would never refer to combustible materials as potential “energy” sources. They would instead call these “biofuels.” If you were talking to a hippie and referred to, say, oil as an “energy” source, they would tilt their heads sideways and stare at you blankly, eventually replying with a confused “biofuels?”

If it sounds inflexible, its because it is. 99.9% of a hippie’s mind at any point is occupied by surveying and defining the “energy” around them. Ultimately, what is important is whether or not they approve. The best thing a person from the sixties can possibly say to you upon entering your home is “I really like the energy in here!” The worst is “Hmm the energy in here is kind of….” while trailing off as your eyebrows raise expectantly. You will not hear it, but they will then lean over to their companion, who is also from the sixties, and whisper “I don’t like the energy in here.” If this happens, save yourself some loose leaf chai and ask them politely to leave. But do it as nicely as possible, lest you suffer the worst possible judgement by someone from the sixties – that you yourself have “bad energy.” This can be very difficult for your reputation to recover from, as hippies are a tight knit bunch and word travels fast. If you find yourself in this situation, your best bet is to immediately go to the nearest yoga studio and buy 5 twelve packs of yoga classes that will expire in 14 days. Then when they say “just a second” and type something on their little computer they will actually be altering your energy status on the international hippie database. You will likely have been moved from “bad energy” to “energy probation.” Don’t worry though – after 54 of your yoga passes expire and you make a point of not complaining you will be upgraded to “good energy” in no time.

Below is a short collection of common translations for hippy phrases which use the word “energy.” If these are unfamiliar to you, you should immediately print this out and put it into your wallet or purse for emergency reference.

Phrase – “How was the energy?”
(Translation – Would I like it?)

Phrase – “I felt some strange energy… ”
(Translation – Someone was there who was not from the sixties.)

Phrase – “I really like the energy at that place!”
(Translation – They have wheat grass and/or espresso)

Phrase – “I talked to her, but I didn’t like her energy.”
(Translation – I hit on her and she shot me down)

Phrase – “The energy was very confusing.”
(Translation – I was stoned out of my mind)

Phrase – “The energy was magical!”
(Translation – There was 40 people playing 40 different drumbeats simultaneously)

Phrase – “My energy has been off today.”
(Translation – I sprained my groin in pilates class)

Phrase – “The energy in mother nature is so amazing!”
(Translation – I want to have sex with you)

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Entry filed under: Beliefs.

Eric Clapton Hope

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